Am i doing the right thing?

few day past since i post 'new chapter'. my emotion become calmer, and not so emo already.
still think bout her but at least wont so strong already. probably will totally let go very soon. is a good sign for me because i started to accept someone new into my life. this time i won't make the same mistake again. i will make sure that i love her as much as i can. i not really know how much she love me, but 1 thing i very sure. that was her jealousy that tell me that she love me. hope all my guessing is correct.

new chapter of my life

yesterday, finally i get the answer. the answer is mean. but i will say that is good for me cause i know her character now. at least i know that she not that faithful. i know the truth, i sad...depress and think bout it. but is no turning back cause i don need someone that being own by others. maybe look stupid i say like this but this is how i feel bout it. at least now i got someone that really love even though she not even really known who i am. i will try to love her. at least i know that as long i accept someone in my life, i can forget my past.

still feeling emo

its been few days. my emotion, still same. i really hate myself, why i cant let her go. even now i have someone that love me more than everything. am i stupid? i not sure.

when you're gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

i'm totally speechless

my last post till today, 18 day passed. in this 18 days, i feel the ups and down. i tot everything will be fine, but the truth is all is mine own imaginations. everything i think is just an imaginations. i like fall from sky today. what she told me, is so hurt. so hurt. i finally cry, the tears drop non stops. i cant stop myself from crying, why i`m so stupid... i should know that what i feel in that 18 days wont last long. but i forget, i being drive away by the happiness that i feel at that moment.

i don't how many times more i able to sustain such hurt. i really scared that one day, i might suicide. i really cant take it anymore. i think this time, i should really let go my hand, my heart. like what my mom told me, she is just a girl, and she just take me as a replacement when she don't have anyone to talk to. i think i should accept the truth. she not love me anymore.